By Rori Raye
If you’re at all like me, then every day of your life – nearly every minute – thoughts cross your mind like “Why did I do that?” or “I feel so stupid, I wish I hadn’t said that.”
These thoughts are a Nasty Voice inside your head – one that seems to come up every time something frightening or exciting happens. It makes you doubt yourself and keeps you from being your best self. The Nasty Voice can also whittle away at your confidence around a man. It makes you seem uncertain and tense, which makes you unattractive to him.
When you can deal with the Nasty Voice, you can gain more confidence and feel more relaxed, and therefore be more magnetic to a man. Here are two steps to doing that:
Instead of focusing on believing the good things you want for yourself, focus on not believing the bad things.
Let’s say you want something from a man (like total devotion), but your Nasty Voice hits you with that old lie: “You? How could YOU think you deserve that?”
Here’s what you do: DON’T FIGHT the Voice. Don’t argue, or get defensive, or tell it it’s wrong. But more importantly, DON’T BELIEVE it. Know that its job is to make you feel inadequate – whether or not it’s true.
Try a sense of humor. Laugh at the Nasty Voice, “Oh, it’s YOU again!” Treat it like unimportant chatter from a nearby table at the coffee shop.
It could be a dress in a window, the color of the flower on the table, your bracelet, his eyes, a picture on the wall, your shoes – anything you like that makes you feel good.
Focus on it just long enough to feel good inside for those few seconds. Then go back to what you’re doing.
Do this over and over again. Do it until it feels natural. And it will feel natural the more you practice.
Remember, your goal is not to get RID of your Nasty Voice. Everyone has one, and yours will be with you for the rest of your life. You can live with it, as long as you don’t allow it to run your life.
When you let your Nasty Voice run your life, you end up repeating the same old mistakes over and over again in relationships. It makes you stuck, even when you’ve had so many experiences and worked so hard to make love work. Your Nasty Voice can make you stay in bad relationships too long, ruin a good relationship, or prevent you from connecting with a great man on a first date.
If you’re having a hard time in your relationship because you’re overwhelmed by your Nasty Voice telling you that you’re not lovable, not beautiful, not worthy enough of a man’s full attention and commitment, then be kind to yourself and download a copy of my eBook right away. I devote several chapters to helping you gain confidence by giving you simple exercises you can do to start seeing things in a whole new way.
You’ll start to change the things you say to yourself, and you’ll start to believe that yes, you can have a loving, happy relationship with the man you want. If you want this for yourself, try my Have The Relationship You Want eBook free for a week.